Who did Billy Mays play for?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize