your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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