He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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