Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize