He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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