I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
