so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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