Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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