We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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