i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
