Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
are you so shy because you have an std?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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