I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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