So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
