Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
