My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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