i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
