a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
