Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
