Redeem this text for a blowjob
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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