Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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