just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
