why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
