I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize