Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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