he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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