Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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