I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
