Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
