belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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