he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
