Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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