yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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