the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
