i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just forgot I was standing up.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
