Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
