found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
