hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
