It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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