We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
