Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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