Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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