Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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