The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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