im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize