You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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