margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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