you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
