yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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