what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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