Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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