He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
