Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
