try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
