But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
