In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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