i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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