I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
