why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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