quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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