you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
