3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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