I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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